Spend Saturday night
finger-painting alone in your bedroom.
Listen to Radiohead, “In Rainbows” on repeat. Pound wine.
Question your life’s purpose. Sob in the middle of the workday. Then remember the starving children in
Africa. Feel guilty. Cry again. Blame your puffy eyes on
allergies.
Obsessively watch CW shows about
teens with magical powers. Buy
potted plants. Forget to water
them. Wonder if it’s symbolic.
Come home from Traget with a $300 industrial
juicer, kale and intentions of a vegan lifestyle. Fantasize about quitting your job to surf in Costa Rica…paint in
India….eat croissants in Paris…teach yoga in Bali…then remember how lucky you are to get payed to play on twitter all day.
Fill a prescription for Xanax. Use it once and decide it’s not for
you. Leave rambling voicemails on your friends’ answering machines at 3am. Wonder if you’ll ever have sex again. Consider dating women. Quickly decide
against it.
Cackle with your girlfriends about
how ridiculous life is. Strike up
conversations with strangers. Question your beliefs. Put sparkly cupcake
stickers on everything you own.
Rock out to “Call Me Maybe” in the
car. Notice the people staring and
groove on anyway. Consider getting
a tattoo with something deep and profound and meaningful. Come up totally blank.
Start paying attention to yourself,
your feelings, and your intuition.
Buy a lot of self-help books.
Introspect. Journal. Switch to
organic egg free cookie dough…and feel kind of proud of yourself. Drink more kale juice. Eat more cookie dough.
Consider paying to have your
chakras cleared. Post way to many Facebook updates. Pray.
Slowly slowly slowly start feeling
like your old self again. Notice cute boys. Make new friends. Get really excited the first time Adele comes
on the radio and you don’t cry.
Laugh at yourself.
Begin to realize that everything
really does happen for a reason, that your going to be just fine, that your
friends are fucking amazing, and that time really does heal all.
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