Permission to go kind of bat shit

The coolest thing about going through a break up is that it give you permission to go kind of bat shit crazy for a little while.  You can…

Spend Saturday night finger-painting alone in your bedroom.  Listen to Radiohead, “In Rainbows” on repeat.  Pound wine. 

Question your life’s purpose.  Sob in the middle of the workday.  Then remember the starving children in Africa.  Feel guilty.  Cry again. Blame your puffy eyes on allergies.

Obsessively watch CW shows about teens with magical powers.  Buy potted plants.  Forget to water them.  Wonder if it’s symbolic. 

Come home from Traget with a $300 industrial juicer, kale and intentions of a vegan lifestyle. Fantasize about quitting your job to surf in Costa Rica…paint in India….eat croissants in Paris…teach yoga in Bali…then remember how lucky you are to get payed to play on twitter all day.

Fill a prescription for Xanax.  Use it once and decide it’s not for you. Leave rambling voicemails on your friends’ answering machines at 3am.  Wonder if you’ll ever have sex again.  Consider dating women. Quickly decide against it.

Cackle with your girlfriends about how ridiculous life is.  Strike up conversations with strangers. Question your beliefs. Put sparkly cupcake stickers on everything you own.

Rock out to “Call Me Maybe” in the car.  Notice the people staring and groove on anyway.  Consider getting a tattoo with something deep and profound and meaningful.  Come up totally blank.

Start paying attention to yourself, your feelings, and your intuition.  Buy a lot of self-help books.  Introspect.  Journal.  Switch to organic egg free cookie dough…and feel kind of proud of yourself.  Drink more kale juice.  Eat more cookie dough. 

Consider paying to have your chakras cleared. Post way to many Facebook updates. Pray.  

Slowly slowly slowly start feeling like your old self again. Notice cute boys.  Make new friends. Get really excited the first time Adele comes on the radio and you don’t cry.   Laugh at yourself.

Begin to realize that everything really does happen for a reason, that your going to be just fine, that your friends are fucking amazing, and that time really does heal all.

Self Improvement & Self Acceptance: Mutually Exclusive?

Photo: We Heart It.

“As I thought about happiness, I kept running up against paradoxes. I wanted to change myself but accept myself. I wanted to take myself less seriously—and also more seriously. I wanted to use my time well, but I also wanted to wander, to play, to read at whim. I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. I was always on the edge of agitation; I wanted to let go of envy and anxiety about the future, yet keep my energy and ambition. Was I searching for spiritual growth and a life more dedicated to transcendent principles—or was my happiness project just an attempt to extend my driven, perfectionist ways to every aspect of my life?’
-Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

I found The Happiness Project, or rather; it found me, a few weeks ago during a routine visit to Barnes and Noble. In the vein of Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love, the memoir chronicles the adventures of New York writer, Gretchen Rubin, as she spends 12 months, “test driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier.”

The paradox she describes in the quote above, between striving and self-acceptance, got me thinking. I mean, isn’t a certain lack of self-acceptance necessary to face the discomfort that self-improvement inherently entails?

After pondering this for a few minutes, I did what I normally do when I reach an impasse. I Googled. And found the following quote:

"It’s perfectly possible to accept yourself just how you are, to love the body, mind and soul that you have – and because of that love, to want to keep developing and improving, striving to be the very best person who you can be."
-Ali Luke

Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Here's to loving yourself enough to continue to work to be the best person you can be!

What makes you come alive?

Photo: Summer-Salts

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
-Unknown

Yes! Could not agree more!

Here are a few things that make me “come alive”:

DANCING. Whether I’m grooving behind the wheel (as surrounding drivers watch with a mix of amused bewilderment and horror) or pirouetting in a ballet class, few things make me feel more alive and in my body than dancing.

TRAVEL. For me, little compares to the thrill of an adventure. I love exploring new places and meeting people who broaden my horizons and challenge my perspective on the world. I’m current dying to visit Costa Rica, Greece, Turkey, and India!

FRIENDS. Spending quality time with the people I care about is absolute bliss :)

BEAUTY. I absolutely adore creating and appreciating beauty in all of its forms. Art, nature, fashion, writing, dance, and music all make me “come alive”.

What about you?

Feeling Springy?

Yay spring is here :) As you revel in the extra hour of light, why not...

* Throw on some brightly colored rain boots (and make a splash during April showers!)

* Exercise outside. Endorphins + fresh spring air = instant feel-goodness

* Plan a picnic somewhere pretty. Grab a blanket, a bottle of wine, munchies (cheese, crackers, & fruit), iPod speakers, and a group of fun people and prepare to enjoy a wonderful afternoon in the sun

* Spring clean your closet (and be sure to display your sundresses front and center!)

* Plan a weekend getaway

* Read up on Mercury Retrograde (non-astrology nuts feel free to skip this one!)

* Make a spring-themed mix CD

* Find a new signature fragrance (floral scents are great this season)

* Develop your green thumb. Plant an herb garden or (if that sounds a tad labor intensive) place a pretty potted plant or an orchid on your windowsill

* Try out a new hairstyle (but always think twice before chopping it all of or dying it a crazy color on a whim!). Take it from someone who has suffered the repercussions of what I like to call "mood hair" and don't make any rash decisions (but if you still want a magenta pixi cut after a month, more power to you!)

* Break out the bike and go for a ride

* Run in a charity race

* Check out a farmers market (and don't forget your reusable grocery tote :) Yay being green!)

* Pick up a new hobby (I just started an art journal!)

* Blow bubbles (they're not just for kids AND apparently come in edible varieties, who knew?!)

* Commit to either being barefoot or wearing really cute high-heeled espadrilles for the next month (except of course during aforementioned April splashing, outdoor workouts, charity racing, and bike rides. Gosh you're gonna be busy!)

xoxo

Shine on!

Photo: Linizh Blog.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

—Marianne Williamson

Have a lovely week and don't forget to let your light shine!
xoxo

Lovely words to live by

Photo: Inspiring Fearless.

“This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing the things you love. Stop over analyzing. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate; every last bite. Life is simple. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people; we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often. Getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them so go out and start creating. Life is short. Live your dream and wear your passion.”
-Unknown

I stumbled upon this beautiful quote today and was so moved. Hope you are too :)
xoxo

Current Character Inspiration: The Very Stylish and Kick Ass Caroline Forbes of The Vampire Diaries

Photos: The CW

Head cheerleader turned bloodthirsty vampire, Caroline Forbes (played by Candice Accola), is by far my favorite character on The Vampire Diaries (aka the best show on television). When we are first introduced to Caroline, she is a boy crazy, gossip hungry, perfectionist, on a constant hunt for the approval of others. This makes her easy prey for a manipulative yet attractive vampire villain, Daemon, as she believes she is worthless without a cute boyfriend. As the show progresses, however, and Caroline is accidentally turned into a Vampire, she is forced for the first time to turn inward and undergo some painful introspection and self-exploration. As she experiences hardship she’s never previously faced, her strength is put to the test. Slowly she becomes more assertive and powerful, transforming from a weak victim into a vital force in the show’s ongoing struggle against evil vampires.

I think there is a little bit of Caroline Forbes in all of us. As women, society teaches us early on that we need to be perfect and popular in order to feel good about ourselves. Most of us, however, eventually hit a point (perhaps less dramatic than becoming a vampire) where we come face to face with the fact that this confining, empty, and dis-empowering stereotype of what a woman should be doesn’t quite fit. And that’s when the (often uncomfortable) introspection begins. As trite as it might sound, the process of discovering who you are and getting in touch with your individuality and inner strength is one of the hardest, scariest, and most important things you will ever do.

I believe my inner journey began during my junior year of college when, feeling unhappy and stifled by my “sorority girl” image, I decided study in South Africa for a semester. At the time, traveling by myself half way around the world felt like a very big deal, and decidedly outside my comfort zone. But I did it anyway, feeling I owed it to myself to test just how strong, independent, and (hopefully) happy I could be. Though I had no idea at the time, going turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made, starting a ripple effect of self-discovery and growth that continues today.

So while I began this post with every intention of discussing Caroline’s many adorable hairstyles and penchant for floral accessories (which are lovely to say the least ;)), I guess it has morphed into something else altogether. Much like Caroline’s character, my own personal journey, and probably many of yours. I just want to say, whether you feel like you are in a strong confident place right now, or are just starting to come face to face with tough stuff, I urge you to stay strong and not compromise. I've been there and believe with all of my heart that you are worth every bit of effort you put into to finding yourself, whatever that means to you. So take chances, stay positive and as the great Winston Churchill famously stated, "never, never, never, never give up"!

Xoxo

Rebecca

PS. If you haven’t already, watch Vampire Diaries! You won’t regret it :)

Birthday Girl Commandments!

Photo: Oliver Schwarzwald


Photo: Beautiful Things to Share

This weekend I mark my 23rd year on this planet. In celebration I’ve created the, “Birthday Girl Commandments” which I will now share with you here. They are as follows…

1. Thou shall sparkle. Whether you rock a Gaga-esq full-sequin ensemble (as I plan to) or just a touch of shimmery eye shadow, every birthday girl should shine.

2. Thou shall imbibe (ever so gracefully of course...).

3. Thou shall eat before said imbibing (to ensure aforementioned grace).

4. Thou shall reserve the right to inform anyone and everyone you come into contact with that it is, in fact, your birthday (this particularly includes waiters, bartenders, and attractive male passerby)! Contrary to popular perception, this is not obnoxious, you’re just spreading the birthday cheer! :)

5. Thou shall introspect (at least a little bit). You’re another year older and (hopefully) wiser. Reflect about your favorite memories from the previous year. What was fun? What was challenging? What was unexpected? Sit down and take stock of where you are and where you want to go. Which brings me to…

6. Thou shall reserve the right to feel blissfully happy…or not! It’s your party, you can cry if you want to! But in all seriousness, birthdays can bring up mixed emotions for people. It’s important to notice what comes up for you on this very special day. And let yourself feel it, no judgment.

7. Thou shall surround yourself with fabulous friends (no explanation needed).

8. Thou shall reserve the right to not be sung to. I’m told that for some people, having a roomful of strangers stare at you as they drunkenly “sing” Happy Birthday is less than pleasant. If that’s the case, stand your ground darlin! (Attention whore that I am I actually look forward to this annual tradition!)

9. Thou shall charge thy camera in order to ensure prompt posting of all the previous night’s adventures on Facebook (I mean, if it's not on Facebook, did it even happen?)

10. Thou shall take a moment to acknowledge the strong, smart, beautiful, powerful, and amazingly fabulous woman you are becoming!

Make magic happen next year ;)
xoxo

My FABULOUS New Years Resolutions

Here's what made my list, in no particular order…

1. Take more bubble baths (potentially wearing a tiara, because really who doesn’t love feeling like a princess?).

2. Dance. Every day. Even if it’s just a booty shake while I brush my teeth!

3. Listen to live music at least once a month. There are so many cool music venues in DC and I have no excuse not to enjoy them!

4. Workout at least four days a week. I heart endorphins. Enough said.

5. Think of three things I am grateful for each night before I go to bed. I read a quote recently that said, “developing an attitude of gratitude is the only path to true fulfillment.” Corny? Perhaps. But I couldn’t agree more.

6. Do more “outdoorsy” things (aka. hiking, camping, kayaking, etc). I always love spending time in nature but I need to make more of an effort to build it into my schedule.

7. Read something inspirational every day (if you want to add this to your list and need some advice, check out some of the blogs I follow!). Also enjoy more solo excursions to Borders (I really do have an unhealthy obsession with bookstores…).

8. Get more professional massages (Don’t ever let anyone tell you this is a frivolous waste of your money. They are wrong!). And on this general topic, spend more of my money on experiences rather than things.

9. Be better at keeping in touch with friends (and siblings!) who live far away. My closest friends (you know who you are!) mean the world to me. As tough as it can be to make the time and play phone tag, it is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS worth it. Friends are everything.

10. Write in this blog once a week (NO EXCUSES!). On that note, take a writing class or join a writers group. Continue to take baby steps toward my ultimate goal of writing a bestselling novel.

11. Go to sleep earlier during the week and wake up a half an hour earlier each morning to write in my journal.

12. Find a community service project in DC that I enjoy and do it regularly.

13. More quality time with Pablo (I love you Becky!! J).

14. Plan more fun (and off the beaten path) outings with friends.

15. Learn to use my super duper really sweet camera and take more pictures. Be "that girl" who's always snapping away.

16. Take steps toward launching "The Pursuit of Fabulous" with my incredible sister, Lindsay. More info on this to come.

17. And maybe while I’m at it I’ll eat more vegetables, floss regularly, give up chocolate icing binges once and for all, and be more punctual! (These make the list every year but a girl can dream…)

What are your resolutions for 2011?